Thursday, February 25, 2010

Compress This

Just when we thought compression technology has reached it's pinnacle (there are only so many body parts to squeeze into tight clothing), Zoot has released it's Active Compression RX series of apparel. I must admit, when I saw the Zoot Compression shorts make their debut on the floor the other day, I was a little confused. What would these shorts compress? Were they like Spanx for triathletes? Lowering the "Donk Factor" in my "Da-Donk-A-Donk" sounds appealing.

Naturally, I gave them a try. After the herculean effort it took to get into them - which I can only liken to sqeezing into American Apparel skinny jeans - I was pleasantly surprised to find the waistband was soft and not constricting at all. In fact, it seemed that the compression gained intensity down my leg, culminating in a rather intense grip on my mid-thigh. After a little research I found out that this is due to "varying degrees of muscle-specific compression to increase muscle response and performance." I did a few wind-gaits accross the interior of the shop and found that this was definitely true: it was so easy to lift my legs I almost kneed myself in the face.

The graduated compression is also supposed to increase blood flow to the heart. I couldn't test this claim as it was difficult to raise my heart rate while running between customers back and forth between the back trainer and the mechanics window. Dear customers, please independedantly verify this and get back to me.

These shorts are made with "lightwieght PlyPro" and "anti-microbeal SilverTech." (I don't know what this means, but I can only assume that if you melted these shorts down and made bullets out of them, you could kill a werewolf.) For the more practical purposes of training or racing, these shorts keep you dry and germ-free. They also get my Meriwether Cool Stamp of Approval for looks. The Matrix-inspired color platte (grey and black) looks sleak and modern. The chamois is standard for a tri short and so is the length of the short.

Overall rating: two thumbs up for both Donk Factor Reduction and 25% reduction in perceived effort. Follow up with me tomorrow to see if I have a 29% reduction in lactic acid build-up after my shop-interior-wind-gaits.

**Note, though I'm just as ripped, this is not a picture of me wearing these shorts.**


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